This is my first post in a while. I think the reason is mainly that I stopped trusting my own intelligence to the point where I was out there (on the net) reading different blogs to figure out what people were reading about in this day in age. 2019 is almost over. Can you believe that? It seems like everyone’s birthday around me was a bit monumental for them too. A lot of shit transpired in the last year. I think there were like 17,000 retrogrades all together, overlapping this spring and summer alone, no? For me it was more than just an eye opener. Its like when you think you’re about to have a dope spring/summer because winter kept it all the way real and you think you know and been through it all… and then BOOM! Saturn makes you pay for all your lifetime sins (it seems) all at once, BACK TO BACK. Holy shit! Everything started to blow up in everyone’s face around me in starting in like March/April. I think it is safe to say that and all of those around me and myself encountered some sort of massive shift over that period.
I wonder what it was like for the entire rest of the world? Could anyone reading this relate? I’d also like to read about some of the ways you have come full circle in this season or come to terms with any challenges that may have risen. One thing I can say that I’ve been forced to learn (as cliché as it sounds) that no matter how big or small the struggle, life goes on. My personal growth has been more about being less obsessed with trying to control the uncontrollable. I had to learn to let go, that sometimes my version of the solution may not be the best one. I also learned to trust in the help from others. If you’re anything like me, you want to do it all and you want to do it yourself. There’s a famous saying around my way that goes. “It ain’t for everybody”. And I think everybody knows what “it ain’t for everybody” means, it’s self-explanatory. But boy, did that shit get reiterated to me in ALL the ways for me this Saturn retrograde period. I had to face some hard truths and make decisions that directly affect my family and I, out of the blue, all in one day for the kick-off.
This rough patch has rendered me creative ever so suddenly. Look, I’m writing again. I write this as closure to a chapter I thought I’d never finish reading, now realizing that I am still indeed (and literally) the writer. You can’t let the things that you can’t control lead you to believe you’re incapable of achieving tremendous things. We cannot allow ourselves to fall prisoners to our own self-doubts the moment adversity comes knocking at our doors. Think about a time when you felt good, proud and or happy with your accomplishments, and choose whether your current situation should overpower the joy that came from your previous realities. You still cannot control the thing that is inevitable, but you CAN shift how the thing will emotionally/mentally affect you. We are smarter than we think. I’ve learned to exercise that power and check myself before I wrecked myself. What did you learn? Oh, and here’s some artwork because whatever.